Books by Dr. F. Alan Pickering
We live in an astounding era of sexual challenge. For men living in the Kingdom of God, BOLD approaches are necessary to deal with the intense level of sexual temptation. Men need real solutions to their sexual issues–they need BOLD approaches that are actually effective.
BOLD LOVE will equip men of all ages with the material and resources they need in order to become the lover that God intended them to be, while experiencing the wonderful joys in achieving sexual integrity.
You are blessed by God to be an emotional being. But you live east of Eden, in a fallen world, and the emotional struggles are a tremendous challenge for every human being. The common thread of most problems (especially marital issues, mental illness, personality disorders, financial issues, relational issues) involves emotional regulation. In this book, you will learn a dozen proven strategies to deal with any and all of your emotional challenges. This is a must-read for anyone desiring to gain superb control of his/her emotions.
If you are going to have a marital relationship, why not make it a happy, healthy, and successful one? Dr. Pickering lays out the essentials necessary to have such a relationship: the 4 loves (eros, philia, storge, agape), intimacy – the 12 ways to journey into each other, values, temperament, handling conflict, interpreting each other accurately, communication, maintaining a positive culture for the relationship, boundaries, gender differences and needs, and much more…
We tend to default to being passive (passive compliant, passive aggressive, passive resistant, or passive indifferent) or to being aggressive – neither of these is effective. Your effectiveness as a disciple of Jesus comes in being assertive. Jesus modeled this magnificently. This material will provide for you the compelling reasons for being assertive (vs. passive or aggressive) and the strategies to be effectively assertive.
One of the strongest and most challenging emotions is that of anger. This is a complicated emotion that you must understand if you are to gain control and master this emotion (Gen. 4.6-7). This book provides you with critical perspectives in understanding this emotion, but more so, with the strategies for dealing with anger. The book delves into: the spiritual disciplines and their impact upon this emotion; changing your brain so you can experience self-control; objectivism vs. subjectivism in dealing with this battle of emotional regulation; identifying the triggers, misguided expectations and thinking that jumpstart anger; the use of emotional detachment strategies, creative imaging, and alternative thinking in gaining self-control; the habituating of self-control with this emotion; developing an anger contract; and so much more. Assessments are included in the book. Hundreds have utilized this book in their personal struggle, for small groups, and for families coming together to make progress with this emotion in their experience with each other.
Love is one of the most delightful and challenging experiences in human relationships. It is an infinite experience that is always on our mind–we were made for love and to be lovers forever. Yet our challenges with these experiences are great: there are tremendous risks with love– love blesses us the most and wrecks us the most; we are desperate for life, we are made for perfect love to fly to make it work perfectly; and we really do not understand love. Thankfully there are four Greek words (in Scripture) that breaks the experience of love down in a nuanced way: eros, philia, storge, agape. These various emphases in love are explored in this book along with getting over a lost love, co-dependency, and the exquisite experience of intimacy–the 12 ways to come into each other (emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, sexual intimacy, etc.). The book also has included the Marital Intimacy Inventory.
This work is a thorough and probing look into the ancient book of Ecclesiastes, comparing the contemporary and existential issues of postmodern man (meaning, purpose, significance, lifestyle, death, eternity) to the struggles of Solomon’s era. Indeed, Solomon greatly struggled with his existence on this earth—he was shockingly pessimistic and cynical. Fortunately, he deeply struggled out-loud through his writing of Ecclesiastes and boldly surfaced the dilemmas in the human experience (e.g., “evils under the sun”). His struggle is not unlike our struggle and that of almost every human being. If a person doesn’t go after a thrilling relationship with the Creator, there is only one thing left—the creation, and thus, by default, an individual pursues the creation through pleasure, materialism, achievement, intellectualism, and even false religion (it seems quite apparent that man cannot live without some kind of spirituality). Solomon pursued all of these things (like most people) and he came back feeling “empty” (like most people), and declared it is all a “meaningless” experience. This work assesses Solomon’s pessimistic experience through his own words in the text of Ecclesiastes but in juxtaposition offers an optimistic alternative. It gives a balanced understanding to having pleasure, achieving in life, accumulating things/materialism, pursuing education/intellectualism, and what is the difference between true and false religion. In addition: wisdom versus foolishness is delineated, the true path to the enjoyment of life is offered, how to work with the inevitable experience of death, and a cogent case for an afterlife/eternity is all laid out in this book. This is a substantive and yet delightful read for anyone considering the issues of the human experience.
Without self-discipline, all things considered, you will not be able to do well with your life. Self-discipline involves every aspect of your life: your finances, health, spirituality, relationships, sex, conversations, how do you speak, morality, the use of your time, how are you think, your emotions, etc.
Taking initiative and being motivated (internally vs. externally) are connected to self-discipline. God’s Spirit encourages self-discipline (2 Tim 1:7; Gal. 5:23–self-control). I discovered and have utilized in counseling people a number of approaches to help people become more self disciplined. These approach clans with the Self-Discipline Inventory are in this book.
Sharpening the Sword was first published in 1976 and has sold over 100,000 copies. Close to a half million have utilize this system in probing the Bible through systematic theology. The Christian faith is about a thrilling relationship with God and each other. From this wonderful relational paradigm, all themes/doctrines comprising systematic theology are explored: God, Christ, Holy Spirit, Angels, Scripture, Satan (how he disrupts relationships), Sin (how it wrecks relationship with God and people), Salvation, Righteousness, the Church (the greatest quality relationships you could have on this earth), Last Things (death, heaven, hell, etc.). Each subject is delineated into specific categories that help you understand the details of each doctrine with numerous Scripture references. A color-coding system for marking your Bible is part of the Sharpening the Sword, which moves you into a serious contemplation and immersion into the biblical text. A parallel children/grade-school is in the Appendix, so that parents can encourage their children to interface with the Word, be grounded in historic Christianity, and learn about this astounding faith of Christianity.
Uncommon Family: The Compelling Vision for a Spiritual and Healthy Four-Generation Mega-Family System
This book challenges Christian parents to establish a four-generation vision for a spiritual and emotional healthy family, for “Where there is no vision, the people [including whole family systems] perish” (Pr. 29.18 KJV). Families tend to coalesce around a vision that is set, and it will be a spiritual vision, or, usually by, default a worldly vision. The contents of this work provide perspectives on: delineating a healthy/functional and unhealthy/dysfunctional family systems; the quality of a couple’s marriage upon the family; the seven desires/needs of every child that must be adequately met; parenting styles and approaches in discipling a child; assessing the emotional health of a child; focusing on the important issues in the 21st century and the nuance of majoring in the majors and minoring in the minors; imparting the Christian faith into the heart of your children; and grace within the family system. Parents and whole families would be blessed by going through this work together in the shaping of a great spiritual vision effecting generations seen and those still not yet seen.
ABOUT DR. F. ALAN PICKERING
Alan has an extensive counseling practice in the Dallas/Fort Worth Area. He has written 10 books and conducted more than 1500 seminars throughout the U.S.A. and abroad.